Almost Pengakhiran

March 4th baru nie our second year anniversary! How time flies! Sebenaqnya banyak benda sangat yang terjadi between me and my husband. I have been asking for divorce for the longest time. Macam macam sangat benda ... There was once I wrote it on here, in details. Apa yang dah dia buat and apa yang terjadi. Cuma one of you guys sempat baca and I shared with my sister. Tapi my sister tak kasi publish so I removed it and it is now in 'draft'. 
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I jadi semak sangat masa tu. All I wanted was for him to leave me. Kami gaduh dah macam orang gila. I hated the situation. I never thought marriage of my dream would turn out to be that way. I cried so many times. I felt cheated. I felt lost. 
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Till one day, I told my Boss (Yes, THAT Boss, before the incident I knew about the wrong doing). She was the one who asked me to re consider my divorce option. In which I did. I did not discuss with my husband actually, but I changed myself. Bukan senang kan kita nie nak berubah kannnn  but somehow Allah made it easy for me. 
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1. I removed and blocked my husband from my FB friend list
2. I un-followed his Youtube account
3. I blocked his first wife number (This may be another story to tell)
4. I stopped questioning him (I can be nosy at times)
5. I care less 
6. I stopped cooking and cook whenever I feel like it 
7. I spend most of the time nowadays on Netflix and IG and play games
8. I don't care about sex anymore ... I ma****** .... like I used to do anyway
9. I only message him when he is in Indonesia ONLY when it is urgent. If only he sent me messages I would reply. 
10. I don't call him. He calls me
11. Basically I quit being a wife I wanted to be or imagined I would be 

There you go! He noticed those instantly of course. It was very drastic. My husband on the other way round, became more loving and caring. He wanted to kiss me more. Hug me etc. Which I hardly show my affection anymore. I feel free. I feel that I do not need to please anyone and most importantly I am happy! Seriously I am happy. May be this is the marriage that I didn't expect to be. But this is what it is. I just need to chill kan ! Dulu rasa macam berusaha bersungguh sungguh sangat .... so pikiaq balik, Rafeah buat laksa, buang masa. Marriage is not easy kan. Masa cerita with all my friends, then only depa habaq the first few years memang susah and almost majority of them memang nak minta cerai! Ya Robbi! Awat tak cerita kat saya kannn .... tapi saya berjanji saya akan cerita kat kawan or family yang nak kahwin pasai marriage saya and memang susah kahwin nie and hati kena kental! 
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Anywayyy .... my ex Husband sometimes call me. We would speak for a while. I really think he misses me. Come on! I was so good to him kot! Hahaha perasan sendiri. But seriously our connection was so strong ya masa bercinta dan kahwin. Dia call tanya saya ok ke tak etc. Like best friends, kami boleh saja sambung sembang macam we used to do. He was my soulmate and I strongly feel he felt the same way too. Saja aja lah nak habaq kat hampa semau that my ex ada juga call. 

Itu saja cerita saya buat hari ini! Hope you all had a productive day like I did !

Love,
SL 

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