I Give You My Heart

I am seriously not a good mother. I cepat naik angin. I tak sabaq. Dah banyak kali Id kena cubit. Kesian dia juga. Dia selalu test my kesabaran. Haish. Malam malam I akan minta maaf. It's not his fault. His is not even 3 years old yet. I read lots about toddlers and how to manage them. Masih tak membantu! When Id buat hal, I jarang sangat nak bersabaq. Id knows that too! He would say Mother is angry. Or sometimes Mother is tired. Pagi pagi I akan kesian kat dia so I will be hugging and kissing him!

I don't want him to think I am such a horrible mother. 

And nasib baik I ajar Id juga to say - No phone please. So when I am so into my phone, Id would at least tell me off. Then I would be concentrating on him, to either play with him or just be with him or read to him. His favourite book now is Trouble With Tippers 

From the new book, his vocabulary increased. He knows new words like newspaper, architect, foreman, rope, chain and plan. So that's good!

At the same time too, I miss my home. I miss having my own space. Not that I don't have it now but it's different when you are in your own home. I don't feel motivated to even cook for Id. I used to cook for him all sort of food when he was a baby. But again, Id is a picky eater. Only recently he started taking fried egg. Itu pun yang part crunchy. He likes anything that is crunchy. His favourite snack (one of them) is keropok ikan or udang. 

If I were to be at my home, even Id is a picky eater, I want to try and keep on trying to cook for him. But at the moment, my mood is so arghhhhh blagh ... just because this is not my home :( Not a good excuse kan but that's how I feel now.

The last 10 days of Ramadhan I am praying harder that I get a job soon so we can go back to our own home! Insha Allah!

Love,

Monster Mother (Sometimes)